FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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