Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
