i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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