I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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