She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
