Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
