Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
