I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
