He is such a slut. More and more my type.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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