driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The power of my boobs compel you
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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