I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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