i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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