I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
