It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
