His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
