i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
