if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
