yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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