Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Define "chronic" masturbator.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
