I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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