It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
