I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
