All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
