i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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