she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
