I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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