apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
