This is not my ceiling
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
