im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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