I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
