so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
