And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
