I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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