Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
