You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
