Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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