my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
