But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
