This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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