I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
