would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
