does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
