he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
