wat bout pragnant strippers??
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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