I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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