I am puke
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She even gives head with a lisp.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
