You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
