Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
