Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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