I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Randomize
